I have been pretty quiet on social medias these last weeks but here I am ! Just back from my 23-days Yoga Teacher Training in Bali. After this particular year, I really wanted to give myself the opportunity to experience for real the benefits of this practice... Many of you have asked me why I was gonna do this, if my goal was really to teach or not and I must confess that I didn't really know what to answer. I just felt it was the right thing for me to do and the right timing without really knowing why. But now, I know.
I couldn't have made a better decision than this one to end 2019 and prepare myself for this new decade. For three weeks I felt like I have reconnected with myself, I have built bridges where I didn't see any, I've found answers to many questions I never even asked myself. I lived in a bubble for 23 days with 30 other students from all over the world. I shared with them the equivalent of a lifetime in just a few weeks. They were the mirror of my emotions and went through all the states I was going through with me. This bubble in which we lived was a cocoon for sharing, listening, understanding and for love. Without any judgment. I often wanted to share all of this with you, but I was afraid. Because without an explanation and without the content of the training, you would surely have thought I was crazy. Or worse, you would have thought this was a cult.
This experience was also my last chance for 2019 to give myself a break from all the things I've been through this year. To isolate myself from my daily life, from all of you and give me space to think about all of this, peacefully.
But here I am, back on my writing. I slowly reconnect to my "normal life" and finally give myself the time to write about these 200 hours of theory and practice that have just ended. So, what is Yoga now for me, what was the content of my training, what was a typical day, what was the program of the 3 weeks, what did I learn, how will I use all of this knowledge ? a very different kind of journey that I started this time but one more that will, for sure, change my life.
Are you coming ?
Let's go.
WHAT IS YOGA ALL ABOUT ?
A month ago I would have told you : it is one tool among many to connect to your body and take care of yourself. For a long time I thought it was the equivalent of a workout practiced to achieve fancy postures, to strengthen and to relax at the same time. I was well aware that behind all of this instagram pictures, there was a life philosophy but I was really far from imagining how deep it was.
Yoga is a Sanskrit word meaning Union. Originally it was an oral practice, but a little more than 1700 years ago Patanjali, the "father of Yoga", tried to synthetize it into 196 sutras (= short sentences open to interpretation). This is why there is not one strict definition of it. Here is mine :
Yoga is for me a daily date to be in peace with myself.
It is a moving meditation, the union of body and mind, through different tools, techniques and spiritual practices. It is an art of living. It is a philosophy that open doors to your own inner world and invite you to explore it.
It is learning to listen to yourself, understand your own limits, accept them and move forward. It is to surpass yourself, to heal yoursefl of your own physical and mental troubles.
YTT 200H - WHAT IS IT ?
YTT first of all, for Yoga Teacher Training.
200 hours dedicated to theory classes and practice : postures, meditations, pranayamas (breathing exercises), mantras (chanting), anatomy, philosophy, history, art of teaching, ...
This is a first training step to become a yoga teacher, but not only. Many of us had simply come to deepen our own knowledge and experience a spiritual retreat for body and mind. It is a good way to take a break from your life and take time to meditate on who you are, where you are, where you want to go.
For those who wish, once the 200 hours have been validated, there are a good number of additional and complementary modules (extras of 50 hours to specialize or another global training of 300 hours), to obtain more certifications and be even better recognized in the Yoga business.
WHAT STYLE OF YOGA ?
Although the teaching basis are the same for all organizations recognized by Yoga Alliance International, each training is different. It varies greatly depending on the teachers (and therefore the type of yoga they teach) and the program the team decides to build. As for us, we mainly practiced Hatha Yoga and Ashtanga, but we had several Yin, Vinyasa and Yoga Nidra workshops. Ok... this when you're gonna say to me "aye you're nice but right now, you're speaking a foreign language to me"
To try to make it short but easy to understand:
Initially, there were only a small handful of postures, created to allow the body to sit for 8 hours in meditation without having blockages, pains or pins and needles in the legs... Yoga originally was used to reach that state of consciousness called Samadhi, a state of contemplation or spiritual liberation.
But then, because of our modern societies and lifestyles, we had to adapt. (I guess only a few people have 12 hours extra in their daily schedules to devote themselves to all the practices necessary to reach this state of enlightenment...) This is how the condensed versions of the 21st century were born... By a few teachers who, from our modern needs, redesigned the ancestral bases of Yoga to propose a 1, 2 or 3 hours practice, (with mainly asanas and breathing exercices) that works with our schedules... Since then, the types of yogas have multiplied and creativity has no limits!
Hatha Yoga is the classic, traditional yoga. It is the mother of the yogas we practice today. It is a sequence of postures and techniques, without necessarily flowing between them, designed to create inner balance (we are talking about the Moon and the Sun, masculinity and femininity, left and right).
Ashtanga Vinyasa is more recent, It's known to be more structured and fast. You follow predefined sequences, no room for improvisation. Each movement is linked to a breath. It is often criticized because it looks like a workout more than a moving meditation, but it remains an integral part of yoga. And since Yoga is free to interpretation, if this one works for you, this is the only important message you need to remember !
The Vinyasa Flow is to me like a mix of Hatha and Ashtanga. It is a very harmonious sequence of postures, each movement being linked to a breath. This gives a rather graceful and controlled movement. I would say it is the second most common style.
Yin Yoga is often considered as a lazy yoga, as it is slow and takes place almost entirely on the ground. What differentiates it from others is that gravity and body weight are used here to deepen postures and gain flexibility. It is not a Yoga of effort but a Yoga of patience, which in my opinion does not make it an easy Yoga because you have to give a lot of yourself to stay in postures for several minutes without moving (from 4 to 20 minutes!!!).
Yoga Nidra is not a physical yoga but a practice close to meditation. It is a sleep in full consciousness, which allows you, if you manage not to fall asleep, to gain the equivalent of 2 to 3 hours of sleep in only 1 hour of meditation. I have practiced it and I promise you that it works ...
And then, you have power yoga, rocket yoga, aerial yoga, Iyengar yoga, etc... If we go back to Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, since everything is written there to be open to interpretation and so appropriation, we could say that there are as many styles of Yoga as there are teachers of Yoga... It's just that we don't all try to give it a name ;)
WHAT WAS A YTT TYPICAL DAY ?
wake up at 5:00 in the morning. Yoga Kriya (cleansing / purification techniques to get rid of mental and physical toxins. For us, this meant a cold shower in the morning and cleansing the nose with a "neti pot")
6h : silent meditation for 1 hour
7h - 9h : Asanas (= yoga practice, postures)
9h - 10h30 : breakfast in silence
10h30 - 13h30 : Theory, philosophy, anatomy, alignment & adjustment, ayurveda,...
13h30 - 15h45: Lunch break + study or rest (and sometimes practical workshops from 15h15 to 15h45)
15h45 - 17h45: Asanas (yoga practice - postures)
17h45 - 18h30 : Meditation
6:30 pm - 7:30 pm: Dinner
20h - 22H: documentaries, optional workshops or rest
WHICH CLASSES WERE MY FAVORITES ?
Blue's Hatha classes : after two hours of asanas with her I had the feeling of being completely drained. But a good emptiness, the one that relieves. After three weeks, at a rate of 4 hours of yoga per day, I reached postures completely impossible for me at the beginning. I've observed myself evovling and learned slowly how to love myself again.
The philosophy classes with Rohil : because they completely changed my way of seeing life.
The Ayurveda classes : food has always been for me a need and a pleasure and when Ben would talk to me about "superfood" I would run away. It was unimaginable for me to include in my meals, food that I didn't like only because this was good for me. Until we started studying Ayurveda and I realized that food can also be a medicine. It's actually the first medicine to turn to when our body tries to tell us that something is wrong... These lessons completely changed my relationship with my food. Every substance has benefits that, when used correctly, can improve or solve a problem. Even if this means swallowing a turmeric juice when you completely hate it... 0:)
Night sound meditations : I had a lot of trouble meditating in the morning because it is a time when I am used to writing... so thoughts abound and my mind is very restless. I thought for a long time that I was bad at meditation when in fact, to start something sometimes you just have to find and understand what works best for you... And the night meditations were a success. "Always keep trying!"
Dance Meditation : Terri's famous "whoo whoo dance," which I tried once with her in New Zealand. I ended up crying, by the way, because it was sooo intense. I can already hear you telling me, a dance that made me cry... ??? Basically, it consists of 45 minutes (or more or less) of dancing, with eyes closed, sometimes guided, sometimes not. And you let yourself move, vibrate, to the rhythm of the sound and the music. The only rule is to never open your eyes for 45 minutes... If you open your eyes, your mind takes over like a little devil who says to you : " pfff you look ridiculous, and look at them how they dance, they dance much better than you, so stop ". When you close your eyes, you forget the world and listen to your body move to the rhythm of the songs... It's a form of meditation that stops all your thoughts and for me, it's a release of emotions...
The Anatomy classes : because I never really understood anything about anatomy, but approaching it, through Yoga, opened my eyes to the importance of listening to my body.
The Mantras and Kirtan chanting session : I have always thought that chanting in Yoga was very cultlike and I must admit that I was very reluctant to do some during the training. But then, during one of our Yoga Philosophy classes, I discovered the importance of vibrations and energies that circulate in our body even though we don't see them. In fact, everything in this world is vibration : light, sound, matter. Whether we perceive/hear them or not. Each human being is also composed of a vibratory wave that is unique to oneself. And when we start singing, we create a new wave that vibrates with our own. This is the way Kirtans mantras and songs were conceived : some created to soothe, others to bring joy, a feeling of peace or love... This is why we sometimes feel like we are vibrating with music, and sometimes not ! (or with someone !) Rohil, our Indian teacher, often told us that the translation and the meaning of the mantra didn't matter too much... What matter is the sound and the virbation it provoke. Once this knowledge was shared, I tried it... I felt it... and I loved it...
Last but not least, it was not a course but a right we had : MAUNA or the right to silence. Every morning, we had to remain silent from 5 am to 10.30 am, including at the table for breakfast. In addition, in our arrival kit, we also received an "in silence" label that we could decide to wear at any time to extend the experience. This right to silence is a gift that is often forgotten. There are days when you just don't feel like talking. Not wanting to discuss the pile of bills to pay, talking about what's wrong, or having to talk about the day ahead. And silence at times like that can be sacred. It allows us to listen to ourselves, to refocus on ourselves, to observe what is going on, in and around us, to relativize, to analyze. It's also a way to avoid an argument when you're just not in the mood to talk and your darling, roommate, father or mother comes and asks you a thousand questions at that exact moment. And imagine the look on their face when you say, "Please, I don't feel like talking right now. Leave me alone for the day..." By wearing this little label, we avoided offending anyone and respected the fact that sometimes we too wanted to be alone. It even gave ourselves wonderful moments, without any words. For example, there was one morning when I really didn't feel like talking, I wanted to face my demons by myself without having someone who would try to tell me what I should do. During these few hours of silence, I experimented some really comforting eye contacts, smiles, and even a little note so heartwarming than I went to hug its author and share a few tears with her. Sometimes we really don't want to talk about the things that make us sad, but that doesn't mean we don't want to share our emotions, that doesn't mean we have to lie to others with forced smiles and words. I'm sure you too have experienced this kind of sadness where no words would bring comfort ? It's in these moments that silence magnifies the gestures and the eye contacts given to others...
WHAT DID THE TESTS CONSIST OF ?
We had 2 tests :
A first practical one, after two weeks of training, consisting of a simplified 30-minute Yoga class we had to prepare and teach
And a second test, at the end of the training, consisting of a theory written exercise and a complete 1-hour class we had to prepare and give with one partner. (including meditation or chanting, or pranayamas,...)
It was really strange to be in the student position and then the teacher one but what a pleasure to learn again... When you are forced to go to school, you hate it. But when you choose to go back by choice and interest, you appreciate with curiosity the slightest teaching offered... It's also great to get a diploma and prove to yourself that there is no age to learn and that you are still capable of it. Whatever your age and the training you're thinking about, I would definitely recommend you to try it ! just for the experience of learning again...
DID YOU LIKE BALI THIS TIME ?
Because of my last-year article on this blog (you can find it here but this is in french, sorry ! maybe use deepl or google translate for this time 0:) ) I got asked this question a few times. Yes it felt better ! Maybe because it was less crowded, maybe because I knew what to expect, maybe because I didn't come with the idea in mind that I was going to leave Ben and New Zealand like I did last year, maybe also because I didn't spend too much time visiting but rather trying to "live" Bali.
Bali still has two faces in my opinion. The one that people like is the tourists postcard one, with fancy hotels, amazing restaurants and food, small craft shops or trendy beach shops, surf and yoga clubs, beaches, jungle and ricefields... It made think this time a lot about south of France in summer with all the shops, restaurants and open air markets. There too, everything is about buying and consuming. It's not much different in fact, except that our own waste is better hidden or maybe recycled.
But anyway, this time, I tried to change the way I looked at the island, to take things more lightly and to appreciate Balinese life for what it is and not for what I would have liked it to be. I did continued my little acts of cleaning up beaches and rivers, since I was there, I might as well make myself useful... A tiny little drop in this ocean of garbage but you have to start small when you want to see it bigger...
WHAT ARE THE BEST LESSONS YOU'VE LEARNED ?
That I was born at the wrong time and that I understand today why hippies lived in their idyllic bubble? In fact, I'm planning a little trip back in time to go and experience all of that. ha ha ha ... No, more seriously, with what I just wrote above you could say : ok but what about yoga ? The postures, the practice, what did you think ?
"Well, yoga, guys, THAT is what yoga is all about". The postures are only a small part of the practice. Of course, I loved doing Hatha yoga, I sweated a lot, cried a lot, built up my muscles, gained flexibility and came back physically changed. But I think the most important thing I learned from these 3 weeks is everything that revolves around it. All this mental transformation, this inner well-being that I continue to build through all the journeys that I undertake...
There's a bunch of life lessons that I've learned over the last three weeks and I think there's a lot of knowledge there that I want to share... Here are a few of them :
our body is a vessel that carries the weight of our emotions and if we don't take care of it and listen to ourselves, we end up making ourselves sick. Throughout the first week, I had this urge to cry that I didn't understand, which invaded me with every hip opener or back bending exercise. It wasn't a "I'm in pain" kind of pain, but more like an emotion that was about to explode. I was a little afraid of it so I would come out of the posture very quickly when tears were closed to get out. So I went to ask my teacher who, far from being surprised, explained to me that our emotions, frustrations, anger, kept to ourselves in the past are constantly accumulating in the body into energy blockages. Her advice ? When the emotion comes up, accept it and let it go... So I let my body express itself and I spent 3 weeks crying at every deep hip opening session... And the more I cried, the more I gained in stretching and flexibility... You believe it or not, but considering the experience I've had, I believe it and whoever wants to take a class with me to laugh and cry at the same time is welcome... :)
That spirituality is only one tool among many to reconnect with oneself, that if it doesn't speak to you, don't feel guilty. There are a few others I will probably talk about soon 0:)
That we are not our thoughts. Really, we're not. And that there's a world beyond all of this, where we can be our best friend every day... I had experienced it through travel, I experienced it through Yoga and I will surely experience it again through other activities. Our brains and minds have this constant urge to let us believe in things that are based on our personal experience of life and society. But when we take a step back from all of this, we finally have the chance to reveal ourselves to ourselves. In the morning, I let my thoughts run wild, and in the evening I learn to shut them up. That's what yoga is all about, too. Finding balance.
That if the spiritual practices related to Yoga frighten you because it reminds you of religion or indoctrination, technically they are different. It's silly, but I've always had doubts between Yoga, religion and cult although I've been practicing postures for the past few months. I spent the first 12 years of my life believing in God, having been raised under Catholic principles, then one day I grew up and made up my own mind about it. The outdated rules of religion in relation to our 21st century lifestyles had frightened me. Why should a religion not evolve with the people who believe in it? Then I spent 12 years not believing in anything. Then 2 years believing in "the universe" and these were the best years of my life. Today, if you were to ask me what I believe in, I would answer : in the universe, in life, in humans, in nature and in me. The difference between spiritual, cultlike or religious practices is the power over others. In spirituality, no one should impose anything on you. Spirituality is made of tools that you are free to use or not, whether you believe in them or not. In Yoga, for example, the practice is open to everyone, from any country, from any religion. The God is in you. It is you who sets your own rules. In religion, you make the choice of a single belief and very often you have to conform to rules and practices with the idea that the God you believe in demands this from you and that this is the truth you believe in. As for indoctrination through a cult, it goes even further, with the idea that the power impulsed by others becomes harmful to you. Certainly the similarities between religion, spirituality and cult exist and the limit is very fine (and the more I learn, the more I could write a book about it but that is not the point). It is therefore not surprising that some "Gurus" find in there an opportunity to enhance their ego and abuse power... I think this is one of the most important lessons I have learned from these 200 hours of Yoga...Because we had an ambiguous profile in the teaching staff that could have been dangerous for some of us. Fortunately, I had enough clarity in my mind to see clearly through this little game and to protect myself but it gave me even more desire to awaken consciousness about it, because there are unfortunately in the Yoga world a large number of people who take advantage of vulnerable souls to indoctrinate them in dictatorial versions of the practice... And it is therefore no longer by definition Yoga !
AND NOW WHAT ?
There really is a before YTT and an after.
Since I came back, I've been asking myself a lot of questions. I have tried to express myself well but I often had the impression that you were gonna ask me "what kind of drugs did you take during 3 weeks !? " Even if today I put the words to this experience, it is still very complicated to share something with you that you may never have experienced yourself.
Talking about spirituality is talking about the invisible. And when I tell you about my meditations you will tell me that it sounds a bit like a good trip on acid or LSD. But I've been only drinking water and eating vegetarian food for over three weeks...
In a Cartesian world where "everything is under control" it is sometimes a bit hard to say to oneself : "what if there were other things than what I was always taught" ? "Things I can't see but I can feel ?". I don't want to force anyone to believe in it. But I'm willing to share it with anyone who wants to experience it. I want to be able to share all these tools that my teachers took the time to share for three weeks and all these life lessons that I have been writing here for two years.
In fact, the real training starts now. In my daily life. In my practice. In my relationship with others. To deepen my own experience of this subject and to be able to materialize and share it in my own way. I need to create my own routine, compatible with my way of life. Put my own words into it, build my own messages, and try.
Being a yoga teacher resonates with me as a guide... to accompany individuals in regular practices that will also allow them to reconnect with themselves... Once again, this is not the only tool to access it, there are others... (like nature for example... and this should gently remind you of my next training in Patagonia...)
Between this blog, my Yoga training and the outdoor course to come, I finally start to see the links that are slowly shaping my life... One thing is sure, I'm looking forward to it more and more!
In the meantime, I wish you all a very happy holiday season, I'm going back to writing my book that hasn't been moving during the whole Yoga training (oops!) and I'll give you some news very soon.
Love.
Co.
PS: Here are some pictures of moments shared with the other students. They were my Yoga Family for three weeks and it was wonderful. I know that some of them will read me here so, even though I have already written and read them everything I was thinking about this journey, I just wanted one last time to thank them for all these beautiful memories together... forever in my heart.
PS 2 : once again, I did my best with the english, based on the translator app, so I hope this is good enough for you to understand all of it :) (The french version took me 12 hours of work so I'll let you imagine if I was rewriting myself all of it in english ;)) Love !!
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