I never lied to you, the last few weeks have been quite hectic and when I left you last month, I had only one desire, to end this experience in Voss and move on to something else. In the meantime - and to make it short at the beginning of this article because I will come back to this a little bit lower - at the end of August, Ben and I decided to break up. This year has been very complicated for both of us, it was better to rethink our projects in order to spend the next few months alone, instead of trying so hard to save our relationship in a storm where we no longer existed as individuals. So, end of august, we've closed this chapter together as good friends with lots of love for each other. You will see him one last time on my pictures since he will have remained my "travel buddy" until the end of this experience in Voss. And for those who have been following me since the beginning, I thought I would finish this love story the same way it started here, with a picture of his butt, but the idea crossed my mind a little too late. "Well Ben, if you read me, you know what you have to do ;)"
This month's program includes a road trip to the north of the Sognefjord, a reunion with my cousin and friends, the departure of Voss, some sunny pictures of my yoga retreat from which I wrote a large part of this article and some fresh news from my arrival in the Lofoten Islands!
So ready ? Let's go!
ROAD TRIP TO THE NORTH
Lost in between the sadness of the goodbyes related to the separation with Ben and the excitement of my "twin cousin" arrival, I started September with an emotional storm inside.
We had a week off to enjoy Norway together. Despite the circumstances, I didn't really want to cancel the road trip because the idea from the beginning was to take advantage of this moment to get together, relax, have fun, visit and reconnect a little bit to nature and to ourselves. So the four of us took the road to the fjord for new adventures more than 7 hours away from Voss.
First essential stop : Gudvangen and Nærøyfjord. You saw it and reviewed it in my previous articles, but since it was on our way, we wanted to make a stop there to allow Mily and Toinou to visit it a little. In the end, after another car breakdown, we had to spend a full day along the fjord... A four-wheeled curse that never ends, but thank God, with a little luck, we finally found a rental car, at the last minute to continue our journey and start, serenely this time, this adventure !
Second day program : hiking. We have covered the famous 20 km from Østerbø to Vassbygdi, which immerses you in the heart of an ancient glacial valley. Aurlandsdalen is known for its succession of landscapes, pretty magnetic, during a 7-hour walk. It was a good opportunity to get together and discuss topics that were close to our hearts. A good time also for Ben and I to think over the last few months and understand a little better why and how we got here.
For the anecdote, it was the day I published my 5th month article sharing with you my thoughts on these last few weeks and on the rainbows I was slowly starting to draw in my life. From that day and for the rest of the month, we were spoiled with a wonderful color show, everywhere we were going. It was magical. And you know my desire to believe in the universe and in those little signs that tell you "hey ho ! I'm here, I heard you, hang on because look, the rainbows they're here for real! " ... =)
We then hit the road again, first through the longest tunnel in the world, 24.5km with two or three blue pauses to wake you up a little, then crossed by ferry and here we were, on the other side of the Sognefjord, looking for views of the Jostedalsbreen Najsonalpark glacier. The roads were beautiful and the photo stops were all more incredible than the others. I had often wondered if I would ever find in Europe the sensations caused by NZ landscapes... well now I know ! Toto would have loved it (and so would my Cachou)!
A short detour on the way to Briksdalsbre, one of the most famous arms of the Jostedalsbreen glacier.
There is a hike to a lake with a view of the glacier but I must admit that after the day before, we were a little lazy. A few pictures from the road were enough for us before heading north again.
I had read that the part between Stryn and Geiranger was beautiful so it was on this side that we continued the adventure, with a stop just after the town of Hjelle for a night camping in the valley. A memorable moment spent in music around the barbecue that became our campfire. Probably one of my best memory in this Viking country so far. It doesn't take much to write the best moments :)
In the early morning, after packing up the tents and loading the car, we went back on the road to Geiranger, through a mountain pass. If I had any advice for you if you ever take the fjord roads, it would be to follow as many mountain passes as you can. These are the most beautiful roads in the country, long and narrow, but the wild views are breathtaking.
After a lunch break on the edge of the fjord in Geiranger, we took the car again and then the ferry before continuing by the tourist road between Valldal and Andalsnes.
First stop on the way : Gudbrandsjuvet, an architect's footbridge over a spectacular gorge.
Second stop : the famous architectural viewpoint over the Trollstigen road.
You need to know that Norway, in order to attract more tourism to the country, has transformed its roads into a "national tourist route" with surprising architectural installations here and there. Toilets with transparent walls and river views, architectural views, footbridges, short panoramic walks,... everything is possible.
Trollstigen is the name given to an S-shaped road that goes down to the city of Åndalsnes. In order to admire the show, the Norwegians built a series of observation platforms on the mountainside just before the ten hairpin bends. When we arrived, we were in the clouds, but after a few minutes, it was the revelation... A really special moment. Almost surnatural.
Every night we tried to find a nice place to sleep and I have to admit that Ben found us, a little bit at random, some great spots. On Tuesday evening, once the town of Åndalsnes passed, we found the ideal wild campsite, with a structure ready to make our campfire. A good wood-fire-cooked dinner and a fjord-view breakfast later... It sounds like a dream !
Since the weather was not really in our favour until then, each clear sky was for us an opportunity for a new adventure. So we continued on the fourth day with a short morning hike to the top of Tarløysa, to make the most of the scenery. The view throughout the climb was very pleasant, but the summit, much more breathtaking. In the distance, the mountains looked like the French Alps, with sharped peaks, cut by winds, rain and snow.
Unlike the Voss region, I finally felt "alone in this world". As if, by chance, human had not yet been able to access these summits to denature them. Only rocks and a piece of nature in its purest state.
In the afternoon, we drove back to the Atlantic Road, a road built on water that runs from island to island north of the city of Alesund. It was a bit of a disappointment because the photos taken from the sky have much more effect than once you're there for real. I'll let you judge below....
After this grey afternoon, we had only one desire: to spend the night in a cozy place. We headed to the campsite for an cards night in a small Norwegian cabin before heading back to the city in the early morning.
Ålesund is a pretty fishing harbour, renowned for its art nouveau architecture. (They earned the title of the most beautiful city in Norway). Although I don't really enjoy spending my time in the cities anymore, it was nice to discover a completely different setting from Voss and Bergen. A little city break in my traveller life.
For the record, the fjords are full of marine animals that you can see on "boat safaris" that cost one arm (or even two). But if you are lucky, you can also watch them from the ferry. The closer you are to the sea, the better your chances are. This is what happened to us when we left Alesund. Dozens of porpoises were exploring the fjord. It was so incredible.
For our penultimate day together we had planned a hike near Hjørundfjord with two peaks to choose from, Saksa or Slogen. Although it was only early September, some of the mountain peaks, including Slogen, had just received their first layers of snow. So it was naturally that we turned to Saksa, which was more accessible and easier.
From Sæbø, we took the ferry in the early morning to Urke, starting point of the hike. It is an 8 km round trip with a 1000 m elevation. Supposed to be a "medium" level hike, it turned out to be more of a climbing one on some parts, due to the rain of the previous days. Slippery terrain, steep slope, surrounding humidity.... enough to challenge us throughout the trail. But a view to the summit, which once again rewarded us...
That day, I wasn't really in a "warrior" mode and I must admit that Mother Nature almost won. I was about to give up because the climb was so complicated for me with my sparrow's breath. I got into a two-hour fight with myself or rather against myself. It is this desire, whatever the cost, to reach the top that always pushes me a little further in my adventures. And this mountain that I was struggling to climb was none other than a reflection of all these little inner struggles that I was trying to win. When you think you've reached your physical limits but, surprisingly, you still end up reaching the top, you put back into yourself many more colours than when you fight your demons from your sofa... This is why I love Outdoors.
I can't really explain it, but the spirit that lives on the top of the mountains has this powerful and bewitching power that heals all minds.
For the record, the Norwegians had to bring sherpas (these extraordinary carriers, for whom the mountains have no limits and who accompany adventurers and mountaineers on expeditions to the Himalayan peaks) to build a stone "staircase" in the middle of the hike.
After 6 hours of braving the rain, clouds and cold, it was time to go back to the campsite and spend one last night together in our little wooden cabin.
I must admit that the last awakening was difficult. I knew the road trip with my cousin would end. That these good times together would end. And that Ben and I would officially separate the next day. There were different emotions in my mind but the most present was fear. I was afraid of being alone again. Not having Ben around anymore. Not having my Mily anymore. To have to go back to that life in Voss that I no longer wanted and this time to have to face it alone. Without any of my little rainbows to hold on to....
We drove for more than 7 hours, fortunately taking new roads and therefore new landscapes allowing us to enjoy the view and take a short "architectural" break with the discovery of the wooden standing church of Lom.
As we approached Voss, we left the summer landscapes to discover autumnal or even winter colours. It was a very special moment with that incessant echo inside me : the end of a summer, the end of a cycle, the end of a story, the end of an adventure.
Once back home, we enjoyed one last evening together before starting the "goodbye" of the next morning. I have always wanted to share some of my nomadic life with Mily because she knows my life and my torments better than anyone else. She shared my moments of doubt, my sorrows and my joys, whether we were 4, 12 or 28 years old. We have this inner complicity and similarity that bind us to each other. And even if we have grown up today and no longer approach our anxieties and sorrows in the same way, we still continue to complement each other as much as ever and our thoughts on life always end up crossing the path of each other. Sharing this part of the journey with her was like anchoring a new chapter in our history. Making this bond even more precious than it was. I know they read me every month so thank you Toinou and thank you my Mily for all your love and support during these 10 days of physical and inner journey that I had the chance to share with you. <3
MORE FRIENDS TO SAY GOODBYE
After their departure, it was time for me to return to my life for a few days before two of my friends came to visit me for a last little Norwegian road trip. I was so relieved by a sense of knowing that I was going to be so busy this past week and so well cared for until I left Voss for good. And to welcome my friends into my nomadic life is a privilege I haven't often had. Happiness.
Aurélie and Etienne are two friends I met in Lyon, when I was studying Design, and they are part of the small group that we manage to maintain even though we are all scattered in our lives all over Europe. I had managed to negotiate to have two days off to play the guide for them in Voss Area. So we went back to Odda and the Folgefonna glacier, but this time it was with snow on the peaks that I rediscovered the landscapes. Cascades, mountain roads, Viking houses,... it was so nice to be able to share all these little moments of my nomadic life with them.
I look back to this whole norwegian experience so far, I must admit that these last few months have been filled with loneliness so these last minute visits to Voss have just warmed my heart.
Living abroad is what makes up my life for now and in this particular year, being so far from my friends has not been easy. These choices of life that I have made and that create my daily fulfilment are sometimes unfortunately also responsible for my loneliness. I've had so many times the urge to call you to spend an evening remaking the world over a glass of wine. But I have learned to live with it and I must admit that your visits and calls have once again proved to me that I have amazing friends and I am grateful to you a thousand times.
After six months in this city that will keep a strong symbolic for me, it was time to say goodbye to Voss. I was so excited to leave and yet, the day Aurélie and Etienne took me to Bergen, it was with a slight pinch in my heart that I looked at the landscapes one last time from the back seat of the car. "This is it. This is it. This is it. The long-awaited end of a chapter. And the beginning of a completely blank page..."
ONE WEEK TO SAY GOODBYE
For the little story, (and since I've been spreading my life here for two years now I can give you even more details about my inner thoughts), when we met with Ben, I was looking for everything but to get back in a relationship with someone. I was so afraid of becoming as dependent as I was before in other relationships. So it was on this basis that we built our New Zealand honeymoon. We had our two separate "lives", our two "identities" but the more we tried to keep our distance from each other, the more we wanted to be with each other. You had read it through this blog, my first months with the kiwis had soothed me internally and it was this balance and peace with myself that resonated with Ben's natural peacefulness, thus giving power to our relationship.
This year, with my dad gone, I needed to hold on to something so I wouldn't collapse. Some cling bodies and souls to their work, others to their friends, for me it will have been my couple's, unconsciously plunging into a relationship of dependence towards Ben and gradually losing myself in torments. All that confidence I had rebuilt in myself during that year in New Zealand collapsed the day I got this call from my mum. All my trust in life and in the universe was no longer real. "Well, if the universe is really listening, it wouldn't have taken my father away from me so soon and brutally !". This sentence was looping around in my head. Again and again.
It is difficult to perceive some positive images of life or oneself when everything you believed in has just exploded. The more I sank, the more Ben and I sank. I didn't know who I really was anymore, what I loved, what I wanted. This stream of negative thoughts about myself invaded me in every action, nothing brought me joy anymore, nothing satisfied me anymore, leaving me with a bitter judgment about myself. "How can Ben love this monster that I am?" As I gradually immersed myself in this degraded version of myself, I took Ben into a distorted vision of myself too. And then, it is difficult to find a little air to breath in at the bottom of an ocean full of sorrow.
Even if the idea we had to leave each other was anything but what I wanted because I was very afraid to face my loneliness, I now know that it was the one and only option to save ourselves as individuals and save what remains of our love for each other.
I could never put the words on my connection with Ben but I always thought there was something special between us. He is and will remain a special person in my heart, in my life. And I know that this bond we had, if it has broken these last months, have taken me much further than I had ever hoped. We had a week to say goodbye to each other and with hindsight, it helped me a lot to mourn our story and make some room in my head for new adventures. Our last moments were for me up to all of our relationship. Difficult, but intense.
So... I'm continuing my journey alone but who knows, you might see him again as an adventure buddy in my pictures in Canada !
NEW CHAPTER
From Bergen, I flew to Portugal where I had booked a Yoga retreat in the sun. I had wanted to go for a long time and the timing was perfect. A week to take care of myself and refocus on myself. With Yoga as a tool.
I spent the week a little bit in my bubble, slowly drawing new projects for the future. A great benefit for body and mind. I met wonderful people there, I enjoyed every moment, I slowly regained confidence in the future and I am slowly getting closer every day to new project ideas for the future.
For lost souls in search of meaning like me, I definitely recommend Moka Surf House at Ericeira !
After the sun, I did an express travel to France to recharge my emotional batteries with a few days with my mum and friends and then back to Norway with this time a volunteer experience in a youth hostel under construction. It's been a week since I arrived and there's definitely something magical about this place. The landscapes remind me a lot of New Zealand. And the people are wonderful here.
This time I am on an island, in the middle of the mountains and the ocean. Enough to nourish my mind with beautiful landscapes and offer me the ideal setting to heal my demons of the past. I can't wait to tell you more about it.
CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE CHANGE YOUR LIFE
I have just ended six months of mourning filled with pain and turned to the past. Approaching each day as one more that I could no longer share with my dad... When I moved to another region, I decided to change my perspective. If these next few months are to continue alone, then I will entirely dedicate them to myself... Perhaps this is another opportunity to achieve all these little projects I have silently dreamed of these last months and to do them for me.
So it is with a head full of new seeds to grow that I close this month's article.
One thing is for sure: I can't wait to write the rest of this story !
Love.
Co.
PS: I know that more and more of you are following my stories, so I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you very much. If you ever want to write to me, answer me, give me your opinion, or if you just want to talk with me and rethink the world with, no longer hesitate! I love having your feedback on my monthly "blah-blah".... Love !
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