TO BE AN HSP AND EXTRAVERT
It is not uncommon to find confusion between being a highly sensitive person and being an introvert. Why? Because 70% of HSPs are introverts and two of the main traits of HSPs are common to them: the need to be alone with oneself and being perceived as shy or reserved. However, we are talking about very distinct traits.
So, HSP, Introvert, Extrovert, let's take stock.
Being an introvert means that being in the company of others drains your energy.
Whereas an extrovert finds energy in being with others.
When we are HSP, we often find ourselves exhausted by contact with others, in a way that turning inward is more than necessary. We are often perceived as shy because, unlike a non-HSP person, we take time before we are completely comfortable in a group or situation. However, this is not shyness, but observation. Indeed, the brain of an HSP is constantly observing, analysing and introspecting. A kind of superpower that allows us to identify a situation, a group or a personality and act accordingly. And often, once this observation time is over, there is no longer any "shyness" perceived by others.
One can be an HSP and introvert or an HSP and extrovert, just as one can be an introvert or extrovert without being an HSP.
According to Dr Elaine N. Aron (THE person who introduced the concept of HSP), 15-20% of the population is HSP and 70% of HSPs are introverts. This leaves only 30% of extroverts among HSPs. This justifies the fact that the association between HSP and introvert is very frequent, even TOO frequent for my taste.
The plight of the extrovert HSP.
When I started to get interested in the subject of Highly Sensitive People, I only found books and podcasts about introverted HSPs. This was a problem for me, as I belong to the remaining 30%, who only partly recognise themselves in the existing texts.
So what's the difference, you might ask?
This is based on my own experience and my exchanges with introverted HSP friends, I have not done any studies but according to me, the main difference is the constant conflict of these two traits.
For example, introverted HSPs often define themselves as people who do not like to be in prolonged contact with others, due to their introversion and high sensitivity. The advantage is that their introversion provides them with the self-reflection that is more than necessary for the mental balance of an HSP.
The "problem" with extroverted HSPs is that they draw their energy from contact with others, while at the same time depleting it through their HSP trait. This makes the trait very conflicting. In spite of the need to return to oneself, it can be very difficult for an extroverted HSP to dare to make time for themselves and refuse an invitation to go out, for example.
Another example is the constant curiosity of HSPs. An introverted HSP will draw inspiration and curiosity from quiet times and retreats, allowing them to organise the noise generated by their thoughts. An HSP extrovert, on the other hand, draws inspiration and animates curiosity from the general hubbub and constant action. Our agendas are always too full, which can quickly overwhelm us, and the worst thing about it is that we are responsible for it... So we constantly feed the racket of our thoughts without ever taking the time to reorganise them (or to silence them).
By nature and by definition, a highly sensitive person is more easily overwhelmed by emotions, sensations, the amount of work to be done or by noisy or demanding social situations. Add to this a constant need for social life and activities and you get a good extraverted HSP... :)
The luck of being an extroverted HSP
Of course, I wasn't going to end on this negative note. Every disadvantage has its advantage! And being extroverted when you're HSP is, on the contrary, a superpower that allows you to express very easily what you feel. We are not afraid of words, we need to say and express things, maybe 5 times more than an introverted HSP and 15 times more than a non-HSP. A strength in any professional or personal relationship, as long as your interlocutors are ready to hear you... (A discovery made thanks to one of my friends here, in Nelson, who is himself an introverted HSP. :))
So if you are reading me and you are also a highly sensitive person. Are you an introvert? an Extravert ? Can you think of any other benefits of HSP vs extraversion to share? I look forward to hearing from you in the comments :)
Love.
Co.
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