DAY 1
Dear Journal,
This was another stressful journey for 2020. But here we are. Canada... 2 years of planning, unplanning, canceling, and replanning. It feels weird to be here and knowing I’m gonna be in lockdown for the next 14 days. A bit earlier, I was looking out the window in the taxi thinking: this is all I’m gonna be able to see of Vancouver for the next 14 days. I tried to enjoy the rays of the sun hitting my face, the warmth getting in the car from the outside, and to fully appreciate these last minutes of freedom. When I arrived at my Airbnb or my cave, I’ve been relieved too. It’s not too small finally. I should be ok. Am I gonna be ok? Well, I’m tired. We’ll see tomorrow. I’m going to bed.
DAY 2
Dear Journal,
The night was great, I slept 9 hours, woke up at 4.30 am, not too bad considering jet lag. I feel very lazy today. Don’t want to do anything. I feel like procrastinating all day, binge-watching something until the sun goes down again. Not a good start and I feel a bit guilty about it. But, I guess it’s because I’ve been there before. Self-Isolation. I know I might have a big list of things to do but I try to keep some for later. I don’t want to finish it too early. And we all know the story, I’ll end up my 14 days without achieving half of the things I wrote on this little piece of paper… But, it’s ok. I guess, it’s better to listen to myself for the next 13 days. Nah? I’m just adapting today.
PS: I was gonna forget, I saw a squirrel running on the fence today !!!
DAY 3
Dear Journal,
Day 3 already. I need to say that this morning, I feel a bit stressed out and I’m a bit scared of my love for procrastination sometimes. I mean, I’m not fully procrastinating, I read half of my book in one afternoon, I binge-watched two series already, I did some online job searching, I cleaned the room, reorganized the closet for the 4th time, I worked a bit for my graphic design job in France, did some yoga and I wrote to you. I feel guilty for not doing more of the priorities I have on my list, but I feel very stuck in here. So I do what makes me feel good and I feel like I shouldn’t be too hard on myself for that no?
Oh, I saw another squirrel today. I’m sooooooooo crazy when I see them.
DAY 4
Dear Journal,
It’s day 4, it’s 6 am and I’m awake. Thanks, Jetlag. I’ve been making myself quite busy yesterday (even if I watched some stupid series) and I feel pretty good. It’s been raining all day and all night. Non-stop. I don’t really know what the weather is gonna be like here, but I had heard about this rainy Vancouver or Raincouver as it’s been named…
On a totally different subject, I've been offered some graphic design jobs again. And the good news is that it should keep me very busy next week. I feel very lucky to have this mobile "Cocofactory" sometimes. It's like if projects were to come exactly when I needed them. I don't know if it's because I see things this way or if it's just the Universe happening right here but the more I trust Life, the more things happen exactly the way they should!
PS: the sun is back again. It feels so good!
DAY 5
Dear Journal,
Today is just another day in Raincouver. I’ve been writing A LOT in my book these two last days. You know, the one I had promised myself to finish 6 months ago. It’s been very interesting because even If I thought I knew the story, my story, I’m realizing steps on the go. And it’s a big relief. It’s like grief, but about me and my journey so far.
I haven’t seen any squirrel today. That is a sad day. Nah, I’m good. It’s not too bad in here. I guess, I knew so much what to expect for my 3rd Self Isolation of the year. The more I go through the days, the more I relax about what’s next. I think I’m actually gonna change all my plans and just adventure for a few days or weeks before settling down somewhere. It would help not stressing out about finding a job, a house, a car,…and it will shorten the To-Do list too. Well, I don’t know, we’ll see. I might change my mind again tomorrow.
DAY 6
Dear Journal,
I can’t believe it’s day 6 already. I kind of love this “all-by-myself” forced isolation mode. It’s a good way to start this new experience as I ask myself the right questions. Am I going in the right direction? Everyday I change my mind about what’s next, but in some ways, I really move forward despite being stuck and lock into this room.
It's great!
DAY 7
Dear Journal,
It’s day 7. At 11 am, I’ll have officially spent half of my time of this 14-day self-isolation. I sometimes totally forget I’m actually in Canada right now. I mean, I’ve done it before in New Zealand, being quarantined in a room, in a foreign country. But doing it in a country that I’ve never seen before, It’s definitely something special to experience. I know almost nothing of what’s going on outside. I don't even know how this district looks like. But I do experience little things every day that are telling me: “Hey, welcome to Canada again”. For example?
SQUIRRELS. I saw my first one on day 2, running outside the garden until he stopped and looked at me. I was soooo happy, with my eyes wide opened and a big smile on my face. Then he ran away. I took a picture of him, thinking I would probably not see one again before a long time. But, since then, I saw at least one, every single day… They have so many colors. Brown, Black, Grey… It might sound stupid for Canadians but I saw my first squirrel in France only last august… So, seeing them jumping around makes me crazy and definitely reminds me I'm in Canada!
Another example? SOUNDS. I'm daily lulled by the sounds of the crows and other birds that I don't know. I love spending time focusing on that just to forget the noise of the traffic in the background. It's far from me but it has this vibration specific to big cities. And then you have the sound of the sirens behind the trees or the one coming out of the trucks, backing in the streets. It reminds me of my first days in Auckland. I remember saying to Cachou that I was feeling like in the movies. It's dumb, I know but our police sirens, the ambulance's ones, or the firefighters' one are very different in France. These ones here, are very similar to the American ones or at least, to the ones I've been hearing all my life in American movies. And in some ways, once again it reminds me that I'm definitely not in France anymore!
And then, there is the CANADIAN SMELL. I often said that cities have a smell but I believe more and more that countries can have one too. I remember loving the one in Paris then hating it. It was especially the ones of the shops and restaurants that were captivating first until I got bored of it and I couldn't smell anything else than the pollution outside and the heavy grey smell of the subway. I'd be incapable of describing the New Zealand one but I do remember very well the one I could smell in Peru. It was this heavy humid smell, mixed with pollution and the food from the street vendors. At first, it suffocated me, but the more we were wandering in the streets, the more I could smell the restaurant's ones, and the more I was appreciating it.
When I landed in Vancouver last Wednesday, it was the exact same smell. It was very strange for me cause I had the exact uncertainty about if I liked it or not. Then, I stupidly asked myself if it could be the smell of the whole continent. Stupid I know. Anyways, the more I open my little door in the morning to breathe some fresh air, the more I can define the smell and I already know I'll change my mind about it all very soon again!
Oh, and I also could admit that, without transition, there is also the smell of Cana(da)bis that floats around the house and reminds me every single day that I'm here... (yup I'm proud of my wordplay right now). It makes me smile a lot and reminds me it's completely legal. I really wonder how it is for Canadian here. I'm so curious to discover their habits about it.
And here we are. Day 7. Halfway through! I have never been so close to freedom... And even if I totally forget sometimes I've arrived in Canada and even if I'm forced to stay locked for 14 days, I don't regret at all my departure. I'm even so happy to spend my 2 first weeks this way. I have time to take the time before jumping into this first big solo adventure!
DAY 8
Dear Journal,
It’s sooooo sunny today it’s amazing !!! I can finally sit outside and spend my morning here. I’m officially on week 2. Celebration !!! I might have to order some food to celebrate. Or maybe not. We’ll see. I like the challenge of living with only a few things in the fridge.
Today, I've had my first Youtube add in French Canadian. I'm a bit worried about having to confront this language that sounds sooooo different from mine. It's funny 'cause it's as scary as when I had to speak English the first time. It might be the same origins between french and french Canadian, I have been having too many experiences where I couldn't get any words of it. In reality, I'm scared of being impolite by not understanding a language that is exactly like mine. And I don't want to look snob either with my french from France.
Oh, I saw 5 or 6 squirrels already. It gives you a good idea of my level of enthusiasm and craziness I've reached for my day so far. I think they like the sun too!
DAY 10
Dear Journal,
It’s day 10, I forgot to write yesterday. I actually had a lot of work these last two days with my graphic design job and that had made me very busy. Couldn’t look for something more. And then, I have spent so much time on the phone too. I might be stuck here but I feel like I’ve been traveling through the screen lately. I mean, I’ve been catching up with my friends from all over the world: France, The Netherlands, Australia, UK, Argentina… This just made me realize how much I love it. This is exactly what I wanted when I started traveling. Meeting people from everywhere, opening my mind about life in general, and connecting with other cultures.
I realized my life is like a thread I started embroidering a few years ago, even before traveling. I met people from other countries who made my desire of getting out of mine bigger and bigger. Then I left. I met many people that probably don’t remember me. And I met a few other ones that completely changed me. They understood pieces of myself even before I did. And when I left, I've let them pieces of myself. They transformed me from the lonely pin on the map to this beautiful thread going from place to place, from people to people...
I really am grateful for all the people who have been supporting me all along and keep on doing it during this 3rd Self-Isolation. And more than ever, I'm so grateful for their thoughts, their words, and their calls.
Human Relationship. It's what makes me vibrate and feel alive day after day. Nothing else really matters.
Ok, done for today, I go back to my rainy quarantine.
DAY 13
Dear Journal, It’s day 13, I missed out on 2 days here. It’s to say how crazy my days have been. I’ve worked a lot. Like, 49 hours in less than 4 days. Yup. This is exactly the reason why I'm not doing that job on a full-time basis. I'd end up very tired mentally all the time just like I used to be when I was living in Paris...
I don’t really know if it’s a good thing or not that I've missed 2 days. I almost feel like I’ve lost days of self-isolation. "How French am I, complaining of time going too fast in quarantine!!" God, I can hate myself sometimes lol. But to be sincere, I guess I say so because the closer I get to the point of getting out, the more stressed I become. So I look for excuses to not get out maybe. It’s all gonna be like “landing” again in this country. But this time, I’m really gonna put my feet outside. Talk to strangers. Go for a drink. Do some food shopping. Do all the paper work. And start the adventure.
It’s great I can’t wait. But as always, the jump is scary ! Even in New Zealand I was scared of going out after my self-isolation. Though I knew the country pretty well and I knew the people. But I was feeling like a stranger. Here, I don’t know anything from the outside. I have a few people that I know, thank god, cause right now, I’d say I’m getting close to the panic mind again but I’ve never been to Canada before. Never Ever. At least, not in this life.
I have a job interview tomorrow. on my very last day of quarantine. If that is not a sign of the Universe....
We'll see!
DAY 14
Dear Journal,
Here we are. Very last day. I feel good. A bit tired. (pretty funny when we know I haven't moved from here in two weeks). I had my job interview and it went very well I think. At least, I fell in love with the job and the city where it is. So fingers crossed. I was feeling so boost by it that at 12 o'clock I had packed my bag and was ready to leave. Except I can't leave before tomorrow, at 11 am...
Today, I also spent a bit of time outside, doing what I did for the last 14 days: sitting and observing the pine trees in front of the house. They are soooo huge I could feel on the forest doorstep. What surprises me is that there are just by the end of the neighbours' gardens. And there are all separated from each other with gates and fences.
When it's windy, I can hear the sound of the leaves covering the one of the cars in the background. It's almost like waves of nature coming and going, dancing around me. It's pretty magical to be in a big city like this one and still having so much nature inside. And my neighbours' gardens are all I've seen so far... So how is it gonna be like once I'll be outside ?!
Today it's very sunny, One more reason to be very excited. I am a bit nostalgic to know that tomorrow I'll have to say goodbye to my little room and to my squirrel friends. But I guess I'll see some others!
FREEDOM DAY
Dear Journal,
Here we are, another quarantine coming to an end and the beginning of a new adventure! I'm in a mess in my head right now. I can't wait, I'm scared, I'm happy, I'm super excited, I'm curious... It's very sunny outside like we never had in two weeks. A small sign of the universe to help me reach a new milestone! It's funny cause I could have woken up at 7 am and be outside at 8 to enjoy this new freedom but no, I've been very slow this morning. "I'll leave when I'll feel ready".. Or when the landlord will come to kick me out! I'm a little scared but let's go!
___
Hey it's me again. First day spent in Caribouland ! I've wandered in the streets of Vancouver today and I had such a great feeling. It's a very good sign to me. There is so much nature in the streets it's crazy. And in the city too. I went to face the Canadian Immigration Service to get my work number and it was very simple and fast. Except that the girl almost sent me back into quarantine because she couldn't count until 15. I've walked along the sea too, with a view of the buildings in the background. Colours are so red here that you'd look very white standing beside it. It's so beautiful. It's very surprising for me who doesn't like big cities. I had this strange sensation of breathing again. But, after 500m I was already trying to catch my breath... I think my body had forgotten how to walk in 2 weeks!
Canadians already impressed me. First of all, they have intersections with 4 stops... Who goes first? I'm not very sure yet. It looked like a very good challenge for common sense and eye contact. But I'll see when I'll drive. Second, their politeness and anticipation while driving. It was so crazy for me to experience. Every single crossing I was coming up to in the streets, even when I was still 20 meters away, cars would stop and wait to let me go! It's crazy no?! I mean it's Vancouver and usually, in big cities, you have to fight for your life if you want to cross! Here, I almost felt like someone was gonna set up the red carpet and say hello to me.
Last but not least, I went to have a drink, my very first Canadian beer, with Lucie and David who are having me at their homes for a few days. I couldn't be more grateful for all their help and to have personal guides with who I can share these first days in Caribouland. I feel like this Canadian experience is gonna be like a rebirth! (again)
I don't regret anything anything anything. I'm so thrilled and I can't wait to see more.
And here we are, time to close this Self-Isolation journal because I have a life to live now!
Love. Co.
PS: Don't forget, we only have one life and it's happening right now !! Don't let it escape you (not even with Covid)
PS2: I'll let some photos of my first day in Vancouver to tease you for the next article.
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