3 tools to manage your sensitivity to a new environment

Have you ever experienced a new place, a new setting that in an instant would bring you peace of mind and serenity? On the contrary, have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by a new environment?

The first time it struck me was when I went to live in Norway. It was just after my dad passed away and the first time I really settled in a village in the middle of the mountains. For a girl from the north of France, I never realised how much the flat country and the horizon could have a positive impact on my mental state... until I had nothing but stone walls around me. I remember having the constant feeling of being locked in. Of being stuck. Of being completely lost without being able to project myself into any future. It was as if these mountains to climb had become obstacles in my personal quests.

When I first went to Bali in 2018, I was turned upside down. The hubbub in the streets, the number of people driving around, the misery hidden behind the walls, the rubbish floating down the rivers, the look of people impoverished and/or thirsty for tourism money, the surf or luxury shops that replaced the rice fields, the huge bars taking over the beach... Everything seemed so intense that my brain kept questioning every single of my step. While my boyfriend at the time was thriving on this trip, inside me I was bubbling. I was torn by the beauty of the landscape and by the reality that no one seemed to see. I couldn't enjoy the holiday at all like a normal tourist and the more my boyfriend blamed me, the more I felt guilty for not being "normal", for not being able to "ignore" everything I saw.

Living in New Zealand was truly an experience in itself. With their "she'll be right" culture, Kiwis have created a gentle and soothing climate on both islands. A context that for me, coming straight from Europe, had the gift of silencing my anxieties, for a year. Not to mention the green plains and hills of the Tauranga region, where I lived, which had the gift of softening my mind. It was as if all the feelings I was going through at that time were just emotions in motion. All those green hills, I could climb them, tumble down them, at full speed like a child. There was nothing physically in my environment that could stop me from moving forward, mentally. At the time, it was like a small revolution in me. I was completely unaware of the thought patterns I had established, I was like a child, who was no longer afraid of the world.

3 settings, 3 countries, 3 experiences and 3 completely different states of mind.

Since my arrival in Nelson, British Columbia, I am back in the mountains. I've been looking for a city that combines culture, dining, sports, art and spirituality for a long time, so I have to say that when I think about it, I feel pretty lucky to have landed here. I love it here. But some mornings I wake up, look out the window and see the same thing. These mountains that I admire, they also suffocate me. It's as if they have a power over me that I cannot control.

When you are a highly sensitive person, the environment in which you live or evolve can have a rather crucial impact on your inner world. (And vice versa.) For a long time I suffered from this, hating myself more and more each time for my sensitivity which prevented me from enjoying life as much as others (at least that's what I thought at that time). Worse, in my relationships, I often felt misunderstood and judged, because I was "unable to ignore emotions that should not be there."

But then, how do we do when everything around us is impacting us emotionally?

3 TOOLS TO TAME YOUR SENSITIVITY IN A CHALLENGING ENVIRONMENT

1. ACCEPT YOUR SENSITIVITY

Easy to say, more difficult to do, but accepting one's sensitivity is the first step to take for oneself. By recognising this trait, we give it the place it deserves and above all, we learn to listen to ourselves again. Even today, I still find it very difficult to accept those moments when the mountains around me seem too dark, too imposing, too present. The most complicated thing is the frustration of not being able to change anything. I can't take the road to the sea because it's an eight-hour drive from me. I can't climb to the top as easily and quickly as there is no other access than hiking, in summer time only. It's a setting I don't have control over. And not having control over something is one of the most complicated feelings for a highly sensitive person to experience.

However, when I finally manage to accept that this situation can confront me with the uncomfortable, then I can manage to let go much more quickly.

2. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

To get some height, to step back, to change my point of view to change my state of mind. This can be driving to a viewpoint or hiking to the top when possible. Or rephrasing my thoughts to engage a different view of my situation. Sometimes, to get new perspectives on the issues in life that I am stuck on, I just have to look at the city, this time not from the valley, but from the top! and indirectly, my vision of things changes. I can decide to hate this tiny apartment with no light because it's a basement suite, OR I can repeat myself how cozy and homy it feels to be in there.

3. GO ON ADVENTURES

It could be taking the road to a few miles away and enjoying a different setting. Or going for a walk in the woods. Sitting by the river for a few hours. Go camping for a night by the lake. Or take a road trip for a few weeks. Not everyone can do this, but for me it's definitely the most effective tool. To be able to recognise my sensitivity and to be able to offer myself breaks. Even short ones. And there is nothing more healing than this feeling of newfound freedom.

And then, if none of these tools work, and depending on the situation, it can also be good sometimes, to listen to oneself, to change the scenery, and maybe do it for good... ! When I left Paris I was terrified. Today, I wouldn't want to go back to live there for anything in the world. If I spent a lot of time these last years feeling guilty and hating myself for not being able, "like everyone else", to get past the emotions provoked by my environment, since the discovery of my HSP trait, I am reliving. The guilt that used to gnaw at me has faded away and I am relearning to let go every day. Because I am convinced that deep down, this sensitivity could be a driving force rather than a hindrance in our daily lives.

And you, What are your strategies for dealing with challenging environments? I'd be curious to hear !

Love.

Co.